Post Show Thoughts

This is my first show and the first time I have ever put so much effort into something that I truly love and am passionate about. I keep thinking about what is going to happen after the show and how my body is going to respond to more carbs. I figure I'm going to go back to clean eating throughout the week and enjoy a cheat meal once a week. I was doing that for a while before contest prep and it really was good, it wasn't difficult at all. I have to keep reminding myself that I will be okay and everything will be fine. I'm a fit person and this is my lifestyle so it's not like I'm going to start binge eating and not working out. That just wouldn't feel right to me at all. Don't get me wrong after the show I'm going to enjoy myself for a couple days while still being in the gym. Then it's back to the grind. I leaned out so much and I want to put on more muscle. This means that I'll be back to heavy lifting more frequently which is a plus because I LOVE lifting heavy, and I'll be taking in more good carbs like rice and oats. I'm so excited to make some more progress and changes for after the show and see what else my body is capable of doing. This is why I feel like I love doing this so much. You can always change it up. The body is going to react a certain way and it's just so unique how you can change.
Of course then my brain wants to play tricks on me and I start having negative thoughts for after the show like what if I get back to 185 pounds? First off, I don't see how that can be possible with the lifestyle I love to live. So boom, that's out of my head now. Secondly, I've worked so hard this past year and a half that I can't let myself think that I'll lose it. I can't lose it and I refuse. I plan on growing after the show and possibly start training for physique. I love this lifestyle and I'm happy to be in it. This is what truly makes me happy and I'm really looking forward to the "gains" after the show. I know that my boyfriend will also be a huge support and help me with lifting heavier weight and pushing my body again past it's limits. Again, you never know how truly far you can come and go if you don't try. I feel so much better getting these thoughts about after the show out of my mind. Now I can go study peacefully without these thoughts hah.