29 days left !

My physique has changed dramatically in the past year and every week something different in my body changes whether it's a new vein that is more visible than before or a muscle appears more pumped. It is a strange feeling sometimes looking in the mirror and seeing what I see. The most dramatic thing for me to look at and process has been my face. I don't see differences directly but for example when I take pictures and look at them I get freaked out. I know I'm leaning out and obviously my face is going to appear more sunken in than usual. When I look at pictures I think "is that me?" "that's really what I look like?" It takes some getting used to but I can't say it doesn't freak me out or scare me a little bit. I know my family is going to not recognize me when they first see me and it might be strange to look at me for a while. But, this is what I wanted and this was a goal I had made in April and now it's starting to become a passion of mine. I can't see myself living any other way. This is my life, this is what I live for. 
On to the next topic that has been marinating in my mind for a while is the judgments and feedback I receive from people who do not know what I'm doing or who don't even know me at all. Society is fucked up and we live in a cold world. Judgments are going to happen regardless of what you look like. Everyone feels so god damn entitled to their opinion, which is fine, everyone is entitled to have an opinion but the problem lies in how that opinion is related and expressed to someone else. I get very defensive easily and it ticks me off when I know someone is saying something negative about how I live my life. This is my life, and I will live it how I want to regardless of what the "haters" have to say. I love this life. I'm starting to look more a more defined and the looks that I'm receiving from people sometimes make me want to punch them in the face. But, I have to remember that it is none of my concern about how they think about the way I look. The only thing I'm concerned about is myself and how I feel. I have to keep reminding myself that outsiders simply do not understand. No one understands how dedicated and disciplined you have to be in order to achieve what you want to, unless they are going through it themselves. Positive feedback from random people always motivate me to push further. I have something to prove. I told myself I would do this and I'm not a person to back down on my word. I'm going to do this show, I'm going to follow everything my coach says to do, trust the process and be patient with my body. I can't believe I've already come this far and I've only got 29 days left until I hit that stage. These next three in a half weeks are going to be rough but if I keep telling myself that I've got this and that I can do it, then there is no stopping me. I will not back down ever. This is all a mind-set, if you tell yourself you're going to fail then you are probably going to fail. I can't tell myself that, I have to keep my positive thoughts alive or I'll start to go insane.