SHADY

Alright so I have, well HAD this cat named shady. This past weekend I had a couple breakdowns. I lost my shit. I completely lost it. I’m going to blog more in depth about that breakdown after this post. Here’s the story about this cat. Warning: Curse words MIGHT appear. So my mother bought me this wonderful cat last November. I got him when I was alone so he was perfect for that phase in my life. However, recently he had been on my last nerve and I couldn’t deal with him anymore. I felt guilty because I was not home all the time due to training and school. This what eating me alive. He also decided he was going to be a little asshole and piss all over my fucking couch, bath mats and shower. What fucking cat pees in the shower? Whatever, so annoying. He also talks A LOT, and complains like no other. I could barely function and attempt to study for my courses with that kind of distraction in my house. He started to become too big of a responsibility for me to handle right now with all that is going on in my life. I know it’s just a cat and I keep reminding myself that daily. They are pretty independent but my cat was different. I didn’t kill him by the way, although I did contemplate just leaving my door open and well whatever happened, happened. I shipped him to my mothers in California. He basically is at Disneyland for cats and I’m sure he is a lot happier now. I feel like I needed a break with all that I’m focusing on. I mean I’m graduating from ASU with my BS after this semester and I’m terrified. I swear I’m meant to be in the fitness world and change this world somehow, but not in a criminal justice way. This fitness life is my passion. I love it so much, and have lost my interest in criminal justice. But guess fucking what? You always have to finish what you start so I’m going to finish my degree and not try to think about the future too much, it gets overwhelming. So now I have to deal with the fact that I failed my parents and couldn’t handle the responsibility of taking care of a fucking cat. But like I said, he’s way better off with my mother. PLUS she offered to take him in. I never asked or begged her to take him. I was complaining about his actions and how I lost connection with him and she said “well fine, just send him to me” so I did. Was it hard? Fuck no it wasn’t. I mean okay, I did cry a little but not enough to let it ruin my day, I just went and worked out after, problem solved. Right now I am feeling oh so relieved ! It’s like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. No more worrying if my cat is dead because I haven’t been home in over 24 hours. No more of anything ! It feels nice. I’m considering getting my shit together and possibly taking him back but for as of right now I am so much more focused on my training and most importantly my school work.