Introduction to the fit cult

This is my first post and it's going to be LONG. The only reason that this first post is SO LONG is because I feel that an intro is necessary for the remaining blogs to make more seanse. Each blog post after will be much much much shorter. I'm trying to keep this as short as possible, which is seemingly hard. ANYWAY, Here we go !

This is my story of my fitness journey and my road to my first NPC figure show in Arizona. First I'll give a background as to how and why I got to this level of fitness. So here we go...at one point in my life I was pushing 185 pounds and I'm only 5'6 and currently 21 years old going on 22 this November. I never liked the person I saw in the mirror. I was very self-conscious about my body and very uncomfortable in my own skin. I know a lot of people can relate to me on this. It is such an aggravating and shitty fucking feeling going into a store and having to constantly ask for bigger sizes in any sort of clothing. I hated going shopping for clothes because I was so embarrassed of how I looked. It's crazy how the world can make you feel. You should be able to be comfortable in your own skin but you can't be, why? because the world judges you for how you look regardless of being overweight, underweight, average, super fit etc...you are judged. It's the sad reality of how we live but we constantly judge each other, I know that I'm very well guilty of doing that. But anyway, I carried a lot of the weight on my chest and upper body. No wonder that I had constant lower back pain my boobs were a size DDD. I clearly remember thinking how cool big boobs were, in fact, they were not in any sort of way. Going into Victoria's Secret and seeing that they don't have your size bra is quite frustrating. I was overweight and I wasn't getting any healthier each day. I remember the day my mother MADE me get on the scale. It's funny looking back at all this shit now. She really saw how unhappy I was and knew that I needed a reality check in my weight gain. At the time of course I thought that I was KILLING it. I had these big boobs that everyone loved and was jealous of. I really swore that I wasn't overweight and that I looked decent. Now, I knew that I wasn't extremely fit, but, I didn't realize how much weight I actually was gaining. Let's call it my freshmen 50.
Soo I gained all this weight during my junior college years where the only thing I was concerned about was getting completely wasted and binge eating at 2 in the morning. Granted, this was very fun, not going to deny that, BUT it hurt me in the long run. Then I got into ASU and obviously went with that because I needed to get my ass out of Orange County and move on from those junior college days. So packed up my bags and headed to phoenix to study criminal justice at ASU. Living in a new place was very rough on myself mentally, emotionally and physically. I also moved into a dorm so I was living out of a cafeteria and mini fridge for my first year of big girl college. The gym wasn't important to me and neither was my diet. I tried my best to eat what was right but it was very difficult to manage. I did go to the YMCA to get my workouts in but again they weren't rigorous and without diet, exercise and consistency, the body will not change. A friend from class asked me if i wanted to start working out at a really cool gym he found. This gym is called independence gym in scottsdale and it has forever changed my life. This gym is so unique, the name speaks for itself. I've never felt better in my life then when I step through those doors. 
So we began power lifting and this was FUN. I LOVED lifting heavy. I was ALWAYS told as a female never to lift heavy because then you'll get bulky. WELP this is true in a sense, without cardio & just purely heavy lifting & no diet, I'm sure most women would "bulk" up. Now of course the stigma is that when a woman starts to lift heavy that they will all of a sudden have a body builder physique. This isn't the case at all. I don't feel like I bulked up during my heavy lifting days but I definitely feel like I was gaining muscle. I was in that gym every day setting new PR and meeting fantastic people that have also changed my life. I was seeing changes in my body, but they were minimal.
Then the bad shit always seems to want to happen when life is going so good right? You bet. My uncle whom I'm extremely close with got diagnosed with a rare and deadly cancer. He has two precious daughters whom I'm extremely close with as well.I was all alone in Arizona when I found out about this devastating news, oh meanwhile I was also in the middle of spring semester finals week. Fuck. This news tore me apart and I did NOT know how to react. But, like a typical 20 year old I went to what I knew best and that was drinking my problems away.  I can drink and when I say drink I mean getting completely shit-faced-don't-know-my-name drinking. I'm half Italian and half Irish. There are a lot of drinking problems in my genes and family. Anyway, I decided to get drunk off my ass numerous amounts of times which again was damaging my mind and body. There is nothing more painful in life than seeing someone you love so much go through so much pain, and knowing that there isn't anything you can do to take away their pain, no matter how hard you cry, scream, or pray, the pain they are enduring will not go away. In the beginning I was dealing with my uncles illness in a hurtful way. I'm not sure what it was, maybe an epiphany but something in my mind clicked and I thought to myself "KATE why in the world are you doing to yourself? Stop this, you know what you're doing is hurting you" and I just had to stop resorting to binge drinking and eating. So what did I do? I started lifting heavy more and more each week. 
When I moved into my apartment things seem to get easier. I was able to grocery shop and cook my own food. But, then I turned 21 (for real this time), no more use of that damn fake ID (which I got when i was 17--yikes). I acted like a typical 21 year old and went out almost every weekend and got hammered, but the difference with my drinking was that I wasn't drinking because I was sad or alone, I had accepted the fact that my uncle was sick and that is something that I simply could not control and change. I mean I go to ASU, give me a break. Let's fast forward to the summer that changed my life. My uncle was doing extremely well and I was making more and more friends with the people from my gym, who obviously live the "fit life". Everything in life was going great and I knew it was time to take things to a whole new level. I was not enrolled in any summer classes so I knew I had that 14 weeks to make a change and make every day count.
You ever reach the point where you've just said FUCK IT I'M GOING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO CHANGE MY BODY AND FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF.(or any other aspect in life). That's what happened to me and that's exactly what I'm doing right now. I've always looked up to fit women and thought they were beautiful being that we live in a society where "looking like a man" is frowned upon. My coach Kayce Gorman is someone I picked out from my gym, did my creeping on her facebook and knew this is the woman that will get me to where I want to be. This is the woman that will push me beyond my limits and this is the woman that will change my body, attitude and health. She is exactly all those things and much more. In April I set up a consultation with my coach and told her I was interested in doing a figure show because that is what I wanted to be, a competitor; I'm naturally a competitor (I used to be a competitive cheerleader) so, I thought to myself "why not take my fitness to the next level?". There was a show in November which gave me about 7 months of prepping, which was plenty of time for me to drop. I started working with my coach the week school was out in May. In May I weighed in at 167 pounds and 25% body fat. She set me up on a meal and cardio plan and I lifted with her 3 times a week. I followed the plans to a T. I was so determined (still am) to lose this weight and become a better version of me. I was dropping body fat instantly and the progress became addicting. I loved stepping on that scale about every two weeks and seeing that number drop because I knew I was working my ass off to see a change. I was losing almost 4-5 lbs a week just alone by sticking to my diet, doing my cardio and lifting weights. I did have one cheat meal a week, until the hard part began.
 Typically competitors do a 12 week prep for their shows, I started a week early. So my prep has been a 13 week prep. It is now 5 weeks before I step onto that stage and I'm now started to deal with the typical struggles most competitors do. I've come 6 weeks so far without many problems (mind games). The reason I've started this blog is because I feel like if I write out what I'm feeling and what I'm going through it'll be awesome to reflect upon in the future and it's also good to keep me sane, because sometimes, I feel like I'm insane. I literally feel like I'm going insane. Also, if this blog is able to help anyone out there trying to change their lifestyle and they start to feel inspired by my posts, that would be very rewarding for me.
Let me talk about my boyfriend real quick, because he is very important to my story as well. We started dating after fourth of July and he is simply the most amazing man I have ever met and is extremely helpful during this contest prep. He is also competing in the show but what is great about him is that he has done this before so his insight is extremely helpful. He also changes my mood from shitty to fantastic instantly by just seeing his face. When I see him I feel sane again and I feel happy and all my negative thoughts go away. I guess I really like this man (;

The next blog is going to be where I'm currently at which is 38 days away from stepping onto that stage and showing the judges how hard I've worked.